It's Wednesday, 6.50am. As I just finished my Subuh prayers, I decided to settle few things on the computer- update on Facebook, check emails, Jobstreet(I have been thinking of starting back my career life. Will tell you more about it on my next post). And speaking of which, it's about time to start a fresh new blog. Yes, a whole new platform.
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I am continuing back on this short post at 9am. Keep the hopes coming. That's the way to go *sarcasm*. Deep inside, one tiny corner of my heart, I'm hoping to make the new blog a success. As the malay saying goes, "Mimpi tu freeee". So,this is the end. Adios!

From a Super Hardcore Mum 

I have been wanting to express out my thoughts and emotions thru blog. Sitting here, I just read through the posts I have previously wrote. Honestly speaking, it doesn't sound that interesting. Spit out a little part of my life, that's about it.  I guess I am not a blogger material. But does it really matter? So what if my blog has no fun or adventurous  elements? I am a MOM. What's more adventurous than that. Gosh, even now, my youngest is shouting to clean her up as she has just finished her number 2. Oh goodness, got to continue later . Yes, I am coming!!! ( shout out to my daughter)  😒

What can you say? The last post on my blog was 6 years back. It doesnt seem that long but it's exactly 2190 days. Thinking back what I have actually achieved throughout those 6 years, I would say nothing that deserves a Grammy award or a noble prize.  It may have not been a wonderful journey, but I managed to pull through, as a human, as a wife, as mother of 2, as a daughter in law, as a daughter, as a sister, as a friend, as a....Oh my. Don't you realize that women hold so much of role and people have high expectations on them to do their duty well in each and every role. Hell to that, I don't give a damn at this point of my life. This is who I am, I do what I can  and so long I don't cross the limit of my believes. I have changed, the way I speak, the way I think, I am not a good person as what I think of myself sometimes.

I have been doing my own mind blogging and each time i tell myself to put in on the blog. For 2190 days, I have been doing these. It's just strange that somehow you just can't find the time the moment you shared your life with another person and your little ones constantly hooked up to your leg like a koala bear holding onto a tree.

I do want to ramble on but this blog just doesnt seem the right pplace anymore. Hence, I'm going to come up with a new one and (hopefully!) I'll keep it alive.
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And I came with the post above 12 days back and still yet to complete and post it.Oh dear, am I really that busy or I am procrastinating. 😔

This was supposed to be posted somehwere in May..Can't remember what I wanted to talk about here but these 2 lines has a deep meaning :)


On sunday night, right after performing Isya' prayer, my eyes teared while looking at Alya  who's asleep. I'm not sure the reason of the tears but I remember that it was a feeling of happiness and thankful at that time.

Anger

This entry was meant to be posted on Wednesday, 5/12/12....

I have a very bad temper..Seriously, if I say this to my friends and colleagues, they wouldn't believe it...but ask my family, Miel;they know how quick I can snap or get angry over certain things. whem I'm with my friends and at work, I could control my anger..Even with users, no matter how annoying they get sometimes..but today, I'm seriously pissed off with one of the manager in my dept..I don't know if I should talk about her **t***e** here.. I think I shall not..simply because she's not worth it to talk about on my blog!!!..So I will just leave it here and ignore her behavioral problem....................

I have another problem..difficulties to wake up from sleep..haha..i know it's norm for us to feel lazy and  most of the time we practically drag ourselves off the bed in the morning..for me is the same too..I tend to wake late for work and have Miel keep repeating this until we get in the car, "Cepat cepat, sudah lambat"..there were times where he got pretty annoyed and started shouting..haha..it's not only about getting up late which is causing us to be late to work..but it's the process of preparing for work-wash Alya's dirty clothes, wash and sterilize the pumping gadgets and feeding bottles, etc at 6.30am when i'm actually supposed to be dressed up in my office attire and ready for work..In the beginning when Alya was around 2 months, I was "rajin"-pumping at 3am, getting up early, etc..All of sudden after couple months, got lazier :P..but now things are changing(hope so)..starting last Thursday, I was able to settle all the household chores before going to bed and also succeeded in attempting tandem pumping..The result: I felt good going to bed with "hati yang senang"..and even waking up in the morning was not so difficult. Thanks to myself for managing to push myself further and change for better..and also thanks to a member of KIM(Kump Ibu Menyusu) in Facebook whom I have engaged to share my breastfeeeding journey  and also to talk about on how to exclude formula milk at least until the age of 2 and boost up my milk production

How much do I miss it?

Very very very much..I miss blogging..seriously, I just realized today morning how much I missed it..So many happenend for the past 7 months(from the time of my last post in April)..good things, bad things, happy and sad moments..With having so much in my head and heart that I need to pour out, I'm stuck on what I should talk about..about Alya Zahra?..Miel(nak ckp pasal ape :P)??..My breastfeeding journey??..Family and friends??..My so-called Everyday-is-a-happy-day Life??..Probably I should take one step at a time.. Let's start with my "penyeri hidupku"- the heart of my life: Alya Zahra..Alya has turned "1" in Sept..She's now 1 year 2 months and 11 days..big girl already :D..She has started to walk right after her birthday and we have been running after her ever since! No matter how many times she fell and there were couple of times she got injured(she fell face forward and her teeth/gums bleed) and cried uncontrollably, yet she never stopped..she continued with her still unstable walk..Alya is still on mother's milk and starting October I have introduced formula milk..again..I'm not very happy with this as my goal, dream, wish was to feed her with mother's milk until she reaches the age of 2. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to do so because I was down with a very bad diarrhea, gastric, headaches and vomiting. Thus, these are the reasons my milk production was reducing and was not enough for Alya..Will talk on the BF part on another post. Let's continue on our princess here...Alya has a very poor appetite for solid food from the day I started solids on her. At least from 7months until 9 months plus, she was taking solid foods well..mainly porridge made with vegetables and chicken..Alya was also an eczema baby..So at one point I  had to stop all those food she was allergic to especially chicken and fish..After she's 10months old, she wasn't interested in food at all..biscuits, rice, etc..It really depends on her mood...She eats very little and she has become really thin but alhamdullilah, her weight was an average weight and she always been in a good health and active child...And did I mention Alya is a fast learner?..She can pick up some things that you say to her pretty quick.There was once my father in law said to her in Tamil, "What is my(father in law)'s name? and he mentioned his name to her..and she said it right away..super cute!...She can say "Mummy", "Atta", "Ma", "Pappa" and some of my family member's name...She's also a talkative and you can just listen to her chatterring and singing in baby language the whole day and feel so entertained...One surprising character of Alya is she's get over excited watching football on tv..She screams excitedly, jump and laugh while watching football..No 1 Football Supporter..Supporter2 MU, Liverpool , etc confirm kalah dgn Alya..Miel is so proud of this..Hmm, looks like Miel already dpt "geng bola" :)..

PS:Semoga Alya Zahra membesar menjadi anak yang bijak, baik budi bicara and solehah.

Measles

Poor Alya is down with Measles..She was having fever last two days and when we took her to the clinic yesterday, doctor confirmed she has Measles..Hope you get well soon sayang...

PS: I'll get a little worked up if Alya falls sick due to previous incident where she was down with viral fever during 1 month old..Hope Allah protect her always...