Mixed Feelings on a Raya Day

This year's Raya Haji is the one that I have been looking forward too because it's mine and hubby's first celebration of Raya..So I was really excited and happy..but I was feeling a little sad too due to missing my parents..the eve of Raya, while I was helping my mother in law in the kitchen, she asked, "are you missing your parents?"..I guess she could see it on my face..and an emo me started to have the teary eye again...then she said to me, "don't be sad..your parents didn't got anywhere..they went for Haj..you must pray for their well-being and not be sad ...you tell me what ur mum will cook and do for you during Raya and I will do that for you..."..It was simple words said by her but it was so comforting..Perhaps because she's also a mother to me :)..I told her not to tell my hubby about this and she laughed..didn't want him to know that I cried..but then later he found out...he could see it so clearly on my face..Somehow I wasn't good at hiding my sad looking face this time..hmmm...Later on that Raya afternoon, Ma called few times to mine and hubby's number..but we didn't notice the calls because the phones were in the room and we were at the living room...When I realized the missed calls, I was so disappointed for not keeping the phone next to me..Hubby and I kept the phone close to us, waiting if there might be calls again from Ma..finally the call came and I was so happy to talk to her..Ma spoke to hubby and mother in law after that..I wonder what she said to hubby because she talked to him for few minutes..I didn't ask..it's between her and her son in law :)..Before hanging up the phone, I spoke to Ma again..and I could hear her voice started to change..I knew she's crying..and  I couldn't hold back my tears too..we said farewell to each other..and hang up the phone..I walked up to my room quickly, closed the door behind me, and let the tears flow..Crying do make you feel better..because that's what I felt..I felt better after the tears poured out..Though I was sad, I was actually happy to hear Ma's voice..I will always pray for their well-being..and hope everything goes smoothly for them throughout their Haj pilgrimage..