It's Wednesday, 6.50am. As I just finished my Subuh prayers, I decided to settle few things on the computer- update on Facebook, check emails, Jobstreet(I have been thinking of starting back my career life. Will tell you more about it on my next post). And speaking of which, it's about time to start a fresh new blog. Yes, a whole new platform.
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I am continuing back on this short post at 9am. Keep the hopes coming. That's the way to go *sarcasm*. Deep inside, one tiny corner of my heart, I'm hoping to make the new blog a success. As the malay saying goes, "Mimpi tu freeee". So,this is the end. Adios!

From a Super Hardcore Mum 

I have been wanting to express out my thoughts and emotions thru blog. Sitting here, I just read through the posts I have previously wrote. Honestly speaking, it doesn't sound that interesting. Spit out a little part of my life, that's about it.  I guess I am not a blogger material. But does it really matter? So what if my blog has no fun or adventurous  elements? I am a MOM. What's more adventurous than that. Gosh, even now, my youngest is shouting to clean her up as she has just finished her number 2. Oh goodness, got to continue later . Yes, I am coming!!! ( shout out to my daughter)  😒

What can you say? The last post on my blog was 6 years back. It doesnt seem that long but it's exactly 2190 days. Thinking back what I have actually achieved throughout those 6 years, I would say nothing that deserves a Grammy award or a noble prize.  It may have not been a wonderful journey, but I managed to pull through, as a human, as a wife, as mother of 2, as a daughter in law, as a daughter, as a sister, as a friend, as a....Oh my. Don't you realize that women hold so much of role and people have high expectations on them to do their duty well in each and every role. Hell to that, I don't give a damn at this point of my life. This is who I am, I do what I can  and so long I don't cross the limit of my believes. I have changed, the way I speak, the way I think, I am not a good person as what I think of myself sometimes.

I have been doing my own mind blogging and each time i tell myself to put in on the blog. For 2190 days, I have been doing these. It's just strange that somehow you just can't find the time the moment you shared your life with another person and your little ones constantly hooked up to your leg like a koala bear holding onto a tree.

I do want to ramble on but this blog just doesnt seem the right pplace anymore. Hence, I'm going to come up with a new one and (hopefully!) I'll keep it alive.
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And I came with the post above 12 days back and still yet to complete and post it.Oh dear, am I really that busy or I am procrastinating. 😔

This was supposed to be posted somehwere in May..Can't remember what I wanted to talk about here but these 2 lines has a deep meaning :)


On sunday night, right after performing Isya' prayer, my eyes teared while looking at Alya  who's asleep. I'm not sure the reason of the tears but I remember that it was a feeling of happiness and thankful at that time.

Anger

This entry was meant to be posted on Wednesday, 5/12/12....

I have a very bad temper..Seriously, if I say this to my friends and colleagues, they wouldn't believe it...but ask my family, Miel;they know how quick I can snap or get angry over certain things. whem I'm with my friends and at work, I could control my anger..Even with users, no matter how annoying they get sometimes..but today, I'm seriously pissed off with one of the manager in my dept..I don't know if I should talk about her **t***e** here.. I think I shall not..simply because she's not worth it to talk about on my blog!!!..So I will just leave it here and ignore her behavioral problem....................

I have another problem..difficulties to wake up from sleep..haha..i know it's norm for us to feel lazy and  most of the time we practically drag ourselves off the bed in the morning..for me is the same too..I tend to wake late for work and have Miel keep repeating this until we get in the car, "Cepat cepat, sudah lambat"..there were times where he got pretty annoyed and started shouting..haha..it's not only about getting up late which is causing us to be late to work..but it's the process of preparing for work-wash Alya's dirty clothes, wash and sterilize the pumping gadgets and feeding bottles, etc at 6.30am when i'm actually supposed to be dressed up in my office attire and ready for work..In the beginning when Alya was around 2 months, I was "rajin"-pumping at 3am, getting up early, etc..All of sudden after couple months, got lazier :P..but now things are changing(hope so)..starting last Thursday, I was able to settle all the household chores before going to bed and also succeeded in attempting tandem pumping..The result: I felt good going to bed with "hati yang senang"..and even waking up in the morning was not so difficult. Thanks to myself for managing to push myself further and change for better..and also thanks to a member of KIM(Kump Ibu Menyusu) in Facebook whom I have engaged to share my breastfeeeding journey  and also to talk about on how to exclude formula milk at least until the age of 2 and boost up my milk production

How much do I miss it?

Very very very much..I miss blogging..seriously, I just realized today morning how much I missed it..So many happenend for the past 7 months(from the time of my last post in April)..good things, bad things, happy and sad moments..With having so much in my head and heart that I need to pour out, I'm stuck on what I should talk about..about Alya Zahra?..Miel(nak ckp pasal ape :P)??..My breastfeeding journey??..Family and friends??..My so-called Everyday-is-a-happy-day Life??..Probably I should take one step at a time.. Let's start with my "penyeri hidupku"- the heart of my life: Alya Zahra..Alya has turned "1" in Sept..She's now 1 year 2 months and 11 days..big girl already :D..She has started to walk right after her birthday and we have been running after her ever since! No matter how many times she fell and there were couple of times she got injured(she fell face forward and her teeth/gums bleed) and cried uncontrollably, yet she never stopped..she continued with her still unstable walk..Alya is still on mother's milk and starting October I have introduced formula milk..again..I'm not very happy with this as my goal, dream, wish was to feed her with mother's milk until she reaches the age of 2. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to do so because I was down with a very bad diarrhea, gastric, headaches and vomiting. Thus, these are the reasons my milk production was reducing and was not enough for Alya..Will talk on the BF part on another post. Let's continue on our princess here...Alya has a very poor appetite for solid food from the day I started solids on her. At least from 7months until 9 months plus, she was taking solid foods well..mainly porridge made with vegetables and chicken..Alya was also an eczema baby..So at one point I  had to stop all those food she was allergic to especially chicken and fish..After she's 10months old, she wasn't interested in food at all..biscuits, rice, etc..It really depends on her mood...She eats very little and she has become really thin but alhamdullilah, her weight was an average weight and she always been in a good health and active child...And did I mention Alya is a fast learner?..She can pick up some things that you say to her pretty quick.There was once my father in law said to her in Tamil, "What is my(father in law)'s name? and he mentioned his name to her..and she said it right away..super cute!...She can say "Mummy", "Atta", "Ma", "Pappa" and some of my family member's name...She's also a talkative and you can just listen to her chatterring and singing in baby language the whole day and feel so entertained...One surprising character of Alya is she's get over excited watching football on tv..She screams excitedly, jump and laugh while watching football..No 1 Football Supporter..Supporter2 MU, Liverpool , etc confirm kalah dgn Alya..Miel is so proud of this..Hmm, looks like Miel already dpt "geng bola" :)..

PS:Semoga Alya Zahra membesar menjadi anak yang bijak, baik budi bicara and solehah.

Measles

Poor Alya is down with Measles..She was having fever last two days and when we took her to the clinic yesterday, doctor confirmed she has Measles..Hope you get well soon sayang...

PS: I'll get a little worked up if Alya falls sick due to previous incident where she was down with viral fever during 1 month old..Hope Allah protect her always...

Why it took so long....?

Why it took so long for me to start blogging again? The main reason is I'm super busy with my Alya and the other reason is I never find time to blog.Simply put, I was just too lazy! :P...I don't even have enough time to layan Alya..Alya will be turning 7 months soon..She's growing healthy and becoming more active by days..Alya is a friendly baby..Because of this everyone is so fond of her..She enjoys going out and i think she seldom gets tired because I notice she's more active even after a day out...and her sleeping time is still lesser..that has never changed from day 1..only difference is she sleeps well at night and only wakes up for feeding..cute thing is she cries softly with her eyes closed..a sign that she is hungry...Alya has also started on solids(cereal, biscuits and congee)..She's not loving it that much..I was a little worried earlier. When Miel and I took her to her Pediatrician for her checkup(she was down with flu and cough), the doctor claims that for her age she should be drinking more than 20 ounce(from the time I leave to work until I reach home in the evening). He said it's ok and not worry on her milk consumption amount and food intake since she's in good condition and she looks perfectly all right..Now, she's taking solids better than when she started. But she still prefers breast milk.Alya is the type who drinks for a short time but often..Typically, she drinks for about 5 minutes(sometimes lesser!) and then she gets up starts eying what to get her hands on..I have tried to feed her more but she doesn't take it..so I leave it up to her..Feed her as often as she wants..and not even once I complained..except the time when she drinks while she's sleeping and she takes a longer time and I had to pee..hehe..Alhamdullilah, my milk supply has increased.. People claim that milk supply reduces once the baby starts on solid and reaches 6 or 7 months old..But thankfully, I was very determined to go on and provide the best for Alya..Though I had difficulties to wake up middle of the night to do pumping and I pump today for tomorrow's supply, syukur alhamdullilah, I still managed it. There was once my milk supply was low and there was not enough milk for her on that day, my MIL gave her formula milk..and surprising thing is Alya didn't even take it and she starved and waited for her mum to come back home..Pity her :(..But then she's one smart baby right?..Knows what's best for her :)...Indeed, all these comes from Allah :)..Alya, Amma will do my best for you and Insya Allah may my wish and dream to BF you for 2 years will be fulfilled..

PS: Headache is back again..on and off.. i think because I just had potato bun and milo for breakfast..and it's not enough for me :P

Proud to BF

Alhamdullillah
that's what I say when I'm able to breastfeed Alya eventhough I had to mix formula milk(I'm working towards to breastfeed Alya exclusively. Insya Allah, may my goal come true..Amin :))
that's what I say after every pumping session eventhough through a pumping session I only managed to get 0.5 - 1 ounce

I'm proud to be a mother and proud to breastfeed Alya. Hopefully with the support of Miel, family, friends and mothers out there, I and Alya will be able to endeavor this journey of breastfeeding for 2 years.

Simply Loving Spectra

Alhamdullilah, these few days ever since I started using Spectra Dew 300 and consistently pumping and having a positive mindset, i managed to keep at least 25 auns of ebm stock(ebm stocked on fri, sat and sun)...it's more than enough for Alya to drink in a day:)..before this, i get only about 7 auns-10 auns per day, and I had to mix formula milk.Nevertheless, Avent manual pump has been serving me very well for 3 months. It's  really good and comfortable but having an electric pump(spectra) has made the pumping process a lot more easier for a working mum like me. Hopefully, i can continue to provide EBM stock for Alya and of course, continue breastfeeding her:)..I simply love and enjoy what I'm doing..Proud to be a mum and to provide the best for my darling Alya..now there are 4 things that make me content:

1-Alya

2-BF

3-Pumping and

4-Cloth diapers

hihihihi :)

Alya Zahra

That's my lovely daughter's name :)..I have given birth on the 23rd September 2011 and she will be turning 3 months in 3 weeks time:)..

Yes, my blog is soooo outdated. I have been so occupied since the beginning, starting from preparing for delivery until the birth and growth of my baby..

I shall soon update my blog on what have been going on since September

---how worried myself, hubby and my parents were on the day of my delivery.All we hoped for is for me and the baby to be safe
---my baby was on antibiotics(to prevent her from getting the infection that could risk her life)
---the 40 days pantang(getting used to handling a newborn and loosing my sleep:P)
---my 30 days old baby was down with viral fever(the worst thing I have faced so far and bear in my mind, a 1 month old baby having fever is something very serious)
---rejoining work and being apart from Alya
---etc, etc, etc

PS: Alya Zahra, the apple of my eye :)

Ketidaklaratan

I'm so tired..I've been pushing myself to do chores and handle work..my body can't take it anymore and it begs for rest..my feet is  swollen really bad up till my knees..can't even bend it..I have only about 11 days more..from meeting my baby..though the due date is in early Oct, the doc said I'll be delivering 2 weeks earlier..What ever it is, all that matters to me, is about my baby..I want my baby to be in good health and panjang umur, INSYA ALLAH...

PS:Tgh tggu boss approve cuti start dr esok..haih..ape la susah sgt nak approve cuti org yg tgh sakit ni..patutnye ambik exec baru masuk...kesian colleague2 aku ni..dah la x cukup staff, n skrg ni kena support keje aku sekali..mintak maap ye kekawan... aku tau korang memahami...

36 weeks and turned 27

Coming this Thursday I'm on my 36th week of pregnancy...Exactly 9 months...I'm starting to feel nervous as it gets closer..I really can't imagine or what to expect during my delivery..all I hope and doa to Allah that everything will go well, and that myself and my child will be in good health and may the delivery process goes fine...and for someone whom have been going through some complications from the beginning of 3rd trimester, I seem to get more worried and scared..Now I  understand the meaning of becoming a mother..Carrying the baby for 9 months..and how protective and concern you become towards the baby even before it's born in this world...how you are willing to go through the pains then letting your own baby go through it...My mum have done the same thing for me..and same goes for all mothers..Truly, mothers are great :)

I turned 27  two weeks ago..which was on Friday, 26th of August...spent the day before and on my birthday walking in and out of hospital..haihhh..anyway, got the chance to escape work and hubby was there to spend time with me..and yeah, he did give me present..in cash..told me to get me anything that I want...hehe..was planning to get a new phone, handbag, sunglasses or a white gold bracelet..but already got a handbag using the raya+bday money my dad gave me :P...didn't have time to survey for phones and bracelets so the bday money given by Miel is still untouched :P...

8 months...

In a weeks time, it's going to be exactly 8 months...Amazing huh...my baby bump is so obvious now..starting from my 6th month of pregnancy, the bump grew little by little and now it's a big, round bump..when I look at myself in the mirror, i smile to myself, thinking Allah's creation is really wonderful...Syukur Alhamdullilah that I'm able to carry baby of my own...Inilah keistimewaan menjadi seorang wanita :)...Going through this whole of 6th and 7th months is really tiring..some people said after the 5 month, it will be ok..but just like how I expected, the tiredness, exhausted feeling is still there...now added with short of breath, difficulties to sleep at night, cramps and body aches getting worse..and my movement became slower..I can't walk the usual speed...When I walk with Miel,  he stops, waits for me and then start walking again..mmg x larat nak jalan laju2 dah..there's one thing that take all these tiredness and pain away..my baby's movement:)...I can feel the kick, the stretching...and one thing i noticed, my baby moves a lot when I'm not talking..but when I do especially with Miel, my baby's silent..as if listening to what we're talking..more like eavesdropping...hehe..Last week, I went for 3D scan, and it's good to know that everything's fine..The doctor said, "I think you're eating very well..Your baby is growing fine" :P...So after this I will try to cut down on carbohydrates and I've stopped drinking ANMUM milk because at this time baby's growth gets higher...I want my baby to be healthy...not overweight...Oh yeah, by the way, the sex of my baby is confirmed..But I'm not announcing it..Miel and I have agreed on that..Let it be a surprise...:)

A heartbreaking story

I have never really open up my blog to anyone..simply because it's just about something that I have created to scribble my thoughts, about myself, hubby, family, friends and life..but today I have decided to put up this post for a person whom I don't know but this person is a soul, a woman who's fighting for her life..I believe  someone somewhere in the corner of this world will come across my blog and read this post and will continue to pass it on..her story(written by her sister in law, Moon) has touched my heart...it was passed on to me by my colleague..You may click the link below to know more..

http://miera301.blogspot.com/2011/07/update-norma.html

If you wish to donate, the details are as below:

cimb

01070068677528

Noormawati Mohd Rasif

PS:To K.Norma, Talib, K.Moon,family, semoga tabah dlm menharungi dugaan ni...Insya Allah, kami doakan semoga K.Norma pulih..

and now it's 3

Earlier, around 3.30pm, a colleague of mine announced that he's resigning..so now it's 3 people..seriously, don't know what to say..no comments............................................................................................................................................

Pressure,Tertekan &......

Minda ku, badan ku, everything else rase pressured sesangat..TERTEKAN...apa yang menbuat aku TERTEKAN? It's nothing but WORK..Yes, Keje yg membuatkan aku TERTEKAN..menghadap keje2 office membuatkan aku TERTEKAN..yea yea i know tgh pregnant ni x boleh rase pressured...tapi at times it's beyond our control..no matter how much you try to relax yourself but there are certain days at work you just can't handle it..The task I can't handle the most at work is IT support..dealing and liaising with users can drive you up the wall..the sound of my office phone, the emails that comes in sent by users, and whatnot just annoys me to the max...moreover now, 2 staffs resigned in my dept..and with my condition now, I really can't take up the workload..I'm exhausted..tired..and users seriously never understand this..sometimes they behave like bullies...and even my superior increased my workload..i don't know if he realizes my condition..but i think he doesn't have much choice either when 2 staffs resigned..Despite all these, for the sake of my child, i try my level best to stay calm..I wouldn't want anything affecting my child in any way..this post is to express my frustration towards WORK...and its my way..Harap maklum...Sekian Terima Kasih..

Finally..I found it!

It feels so good to do shopping..Last Sunday evening, went to Pyramid with Miel to get some baggy, loose tshirts and blouses.. as I have mentioned in my earlier post,I'm going through clothes shortage..btw, I have just moved another 2 blouses to my "non-wearable-clothes-cupboard"..in replace, i bought 2 blouses in Ying and Yang at Pyramid!:)..OK seriously, I don't have a choice..because my body frame now looks outrageous in my normal clothes..I didn't spend on maternity clothes because it's way too expensive..hence, those blouses which I bought it's indeed not maternity clothes..I actually looked around for normal clothes which can fit my pregnant body so that I can still wear it when I get back my previous body..speaking of that, I wonder if i could get back in shape :P..just lets have some positive thinking..Lol..

The hunt begins for Maternity Attire

I've never thought that it would be a difficult task to look for maternity clothes..yeah, of course they have a number of maternity shops in malls in Klang Valley..but why is it so ridiculously overpriced???!!!...One simple looking blouse is around RM150..Goodness..It's not like you will be pregnant for your entire life and using it as an everyday wear..I wonder if there are pregnant ladies out there whom actually spend so much on a single blouse..must be really silly..Anyway,so far I have bought 3 blouses, only 1 of it is a maternity blouse..bought it in Sunway Pyramid..it was on sale and the cheapest :P..and then I have 5 pants(luckily those pants are comfy but 1 of it is too baggy to be worn to work)..and 1 skirt which I bought at Nichii yesterday..It's really worth it..bought it only for RM40, the material and cutting is so comfortable and it can be worn after during and after pregnancy :)..Well,as at now, I could still wear my normal clothes..but most of those clothes I was wearing until the 4th month, couldn't fit into my body now..So,the cupboard where I have placed the clothes that I'm able to wear during pregnancy seem to have more space as I take out some of those and placed it in another cupboard which is filled(overflowing!) with my other clothes..Yup, I have one cupboard full of clothes that can't be worn..yikessss...I really(x1000....)hope all those clothes of mine can be worn again :P..

WIFE

Last night, Miel's niece called him up and asked for my Dad's contact number because she need to make some further enquiries regarding the medical course offered at the college my Dad works..So I told her that I will SMS to her later..Today morning, I asked Miel for his niece phone number..As I took his phone to type the number in my phone, I noticed there's a name "WIFE" in his received calls..I thought to myself, "Is the name saved to my number?"..Lol, yeah who else would be his wife if not ME..Ok I actually took a while to realized my number is saved as "WIFE" because before this he saved it as my name..not as anything else..not as sayang or honey or darling or sweetie pie or what-so-ever..even when there was once I changed it to honey, he changed it back to my name..and now he has changed it to WIFE..I didn't ask him anything about it..I just smiled to myself and continued typing the number in my phone :)...